The notorious grad school slump. It happens to many, but I think I hit this slump earlier than most. What is a grad school slump? It is the moment you feel your lowest in the program, but every grad student experiences it differently.

I was just getting comfortable in my first semester. I was adjusting to my class schedule, and I was finally getting ahead of all my  work. All of a sudden, nothing felt right. One morning I was sitting in class learning about bibliometrics and the history of MARC Records, and I asked myself, why am I here? How is what I am learning useful to me? Do I need this degree? Do I want this degree? Do I enjoy the customer service aspect of libraries more than the “real” library stuff? Do I have what it takes to be librarian? Am I even qualified to be in this program? As to be expected this led to a small meltdown of ranting, self doubt and anxiety that lasted for quite a while (shout-out to Jourdan who listened so patiently to many of these ranting sessions).

For a few months I was the most miserable and negative human being. I was pretty sure that this was going to be my permanent state until I took matters into my own hands.

Here are the steps I took to pick myself back up:

1. Remove Negativity
This is a bit of a controversial topic, but I left my Partners Placement. I was really dissatisfied with my Partners Placement experience. The position and the location were not the right fit for me (This is quite rare; most students find that their placements are wonderful and honestly enjoy their experiences). This was not a small decision. I spoke openly about my experiences to people whose opinions I valued and trusted, and made the decision that was best for me. Yes, I broke my commitment, but I gained a whole heck of a lot of happiness.

2. Volunteer
I My next step was volunteering and doing something I was passionate about outside of school. In October, I started as an ESL tutor with the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council. I love working with the woman I am tutoring. I am being challenged and learning more and more each week.

3. Reconnect
I am specializing in public libraries. The important word here is PUBLIC. I thoroughly enjoy being hands on  helping people, and being a part of a community that genuinely cares about the people they serve. Sitting in a classroom can make you feel very disconnected. I needed to be in a library to remember why I wanted to work their. So once again I volunteered. Another volunteer opportunity presented itself assisting an AmeriCorps volunteer with her project. Her project is to revitalize a library at a community center. The first day I went with some other volunteers to help weed the existing collection. Being in that space being around a community space, and seeing the people libraries help made a world of difference.

Sorry for another wordy post.

Shayla